John Miller, player/coach of the Brussels Kangaroos and a reporter for a major American newspaper, is back chronicling his team’s 2009 season in his weekly column that will appear every Monday on mister-baseball.com.
Oh, (European) baseball big-timer
With your 80-mph heater
Your Volkswagen four-seater
Your collection of Baum bats
Your 1-pitch at-bats
You are truly great in your own way
Without you
How would we organize our weekly baseball play?
Oh, (European) baseball big-timer
You are good, but not enough
You wish you were Lenny Dykstra tough
You think you’re swell cuz you have Eddie Murray blisters
And your arm is better than your sister”s
Like Earl Weaver, you kick dirt and scream
When somebody, always somebody else, you see,
Lays catastrophic ruin to your baseball dream
Oh, (European) baseball big-timer
You’re a big fish in a small pond
A local wizard with a magic wand
You lecture on the bunt, the steal and the infield-fly rule
You think a batting glove on your glove hand is truly cool
And even when you’re thirty-five
You want to not coach but play
Cuz, let’s face it, your life without hardball is hardly live
Oh, (European) baseball big-timer
We love your passion and share your craving
For a daily dose of baseball raving
Many of us watch games online
And mourn when a teammate skips a sign
But here’s why you’re not just another old-timer
You think you’re God’s gift to stitches and foul lines
That, my friend, is what makes you a European baseball big-timer
Oh, (European) baseball big-timer
You hate that your genius isn’t recognized
When nobody wants to hear your great at-bat analyzed
You whine about the strike zone
Like from the Yankees you’re on loan
You hate your nation
Why, God, why
Is it a baseball-less abomination?
Oh, (European) baseball big-timer
You go 4-for-5 with one loud out
And when nobody notices, you pout
You play errorless but find it strange
When folks say you got no range
You’re proud when you dive and turn two
The sad truth (for me at least) is
I think I used to be one of you.
Oh, (European) baseball big-timer
How more pleasant is the game
And the impact just the same
When you don’t think you’re all that
For hitting to right with a 34-inch bat
When baseball is not your selfish toy
But a gift for kids and teammates
A well, a spring, a rain of joy
Hey John
Whats that Lenny Dykstra tuff all about???