John Miller, player/coach of the Brussels Kangaroos and a reporter for a major American newspaper, is back chronicling his team’s 2009 season in his weekly column that will appear every Monday on mister-baseball.com.
Damn the Yankees
Bug-eyed red-faced fans scream’n
Knelt tongue-tied to the Bronx Demon
Strong, swift and clever
Trust me, they’re the worst thing ever
Damn the Yankees
From A-Rod and Roy White to Ron Guidry and Yogi Berra
Hate all such creatures on firma terra
They lie, cheat and steal
Make a bloody mess from your precious meal
Damn the Yankees
Money, power and mercenary players
Sacred are glorious pinstripe slayers:
It’s a dreadful, evil team that will take
From hungry healthy ballclubs on the make
Damn the Yankees
Bless those principled times
When they get nailed for their baseball crimes
A-Roids’s playoff bitching
Mussina’s near-miss pitching
Damn the Yankees
Financial hanky-panky’s
Make you say holy thank-yees
When they choke like against the Diamondbacks
In 2009 (or 2010), please, repeat attacks!
Damn the Yankees
When you love the Jays, Sox, Rays or Birds
You know the Yankees are turds
Even when their lineup is gentlemen of class
Like Jeter, Rivera or Posada, you know they’re mostly crass
Damn the Yankees
Why can’t they lose their mojo
And be the Mets, with an all-time great named Hojo?
Kids, I’d pay millions to yell “Busted!”
And leave Yankee Nation forever disgusted
Damn the Yankees
Maris, Mantle, Ruth, Jeter
Every fan likes a world-beater
But lose your soul if happiness relyith
On Dimaggio, Gehrig or some other Goliath
Damn the Yankees
Where’s the fun
The joy, the bursting sun
In rooting for Jordan, Manchester or Murdoch
Or some other outfit where winning is a lock?
Damn the Yankees
Their fans: punk kids with borrowed caps,
Office bandwagon saps,
The true die-hard believers
Nothing but honest self-deceivers
Damn the Yankees
Bad news is they’ve had no peers
When it comes to winning the World Series
So root, root, root for a 21th-century curse
Just as bad as my rhyming verse
Damn the Yankees
Pray it becomes a sign
That they choke in 2009
That from now on they’re forgettable losers
Pathetic midnight baseball cruisers
Damn the Yankees
I can’t stand them winning
God, it makes murder barely sinning
You feel absolutely positively puking poor
That in 1903 came they to New York — from Baltimore
Are there any good reasons to root for the Yankees? I dare you, at oldworldpastim@gmail.com
Comment by Bleacher Creature
October 12, 2009 | 8:54 pm
An ‘E’ for artistic expression, yet an ‘A’ for purpose
Comment by afroklauss
November 16, 2009 | 2:02 am
the evil empire has won again…
like the phillies had a chance.
Pretty obvious its the yankees year,
even off the field like no others…
Howard vs. Matsui = King Kong vs. Godzilla
Godzilla wins
King Kong will be back…